Lightning Flashed
Today, I’m participating in Cherie Reich’s 2nd Annual Flash Fiction Blogfest. As you can see from the picture, it started yesterday and continues through tomorrow. The idea is to write a piece of flash fiction no more than 300 words long, starting with the words “Lightning flashed.” Each participant adds their name to the linky widget thing on Cherie’s blog, and we all go read each other’s work. There are prizes on offer, but if you know me, you know the challenge is enough to pique my interest.
So, here’s my entry:
LIGHTNING FLASHED
Lightning flashed. For a moment Joe was blinded by the white glare. As soon as his vision returned, he groaned. The charred remains of his assailants lay halfway across the empty road. Not again. He remembered the two men approaching, grabbing him from behind. He remembered turning; the shock and pain as one slammed a fist into his stomach. He remembered doubling over, winded, while a pair of hands searched him. He remembered his anger, boiling up from deep within, coursing through his body, charging down the muscles in his arms as he righted himself, as he pushed the men off him… but then the world went white.
Curtains twitched in some of the houses; people roused from their sleep looked out expecting rain. All they saw was Joe staring out into the middle of the road at something. Joe’s wallet lay at his feet. He picked it up, turned, and walked away.
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Now, go to Cherie’s blog and check out some of the other entries!
Okay, now that’s cool. My question is: did he somehow summon the lightning that ended up charring his attackers? Great flash piece!!
Thanks, Julie. Mmm… good question: did he call down lightning, or was it generated from within himself? And I think the answer is hinted where I describe his anger, coursing through his body, and charging down the muscles in his arms. Perhaps a double-meaning for “charging”…? 🙂
This is interesting… and so short! Great flash piece.
I had to cut 80 words to get mine under 300!
Thanks, Julie. When I finished it, I realized I had only used about half the quota of words. I thought about ways I could add to it, but everything I thought of seemed to take me beyond 300 words. After re-reading it a few more times I decided it said all I wanted to say, and to leave well alone. It’s one of the hardest things to do as a writer–we’re always wanting to tinker, add, polish. Sometimes it’s tough to just walk away, so this was good practice for me. 🙂
Short but oh so sweet. Makes me think the same things as above. Was it his doing or something all together?
Thanks, Danielle! This is one of those flash stories that could be developed into a longer work, so perhaps I should be a little more cagey with my answers to questions. Wait and see… 🙂
The best part is: “not again.” To me it shows there’s more to the story, more to Joe. Thanks for the story.
Thanks, Von! 🙂
Thank you for entering my 2nd Annual Flash Fiction Blogfest! The six finalists will be announced on Friday, May 25th. I will further comment on your entry on Thursday.
Thanks for hosting this blogfest, Cherie. 🙂
The “not again”, “anger coursing” and “charging down the muscles in his arms” all made me realize it was from him… but maybe not – maybe he thought – nah, the “not again” does it. This has happened before, though he is never conscious for it.
Great job!
Thanks, Donna. I know there’s a novel in there waiting to be written… but I don’t usually write paranormal, or whatever it would be… yet over the past few months I’ve been writing a lot of the kind of stuff I don’t write. Hmmm. 🙂
Yeah, I’m not a paranormal kinda thinker, writer, be-er (not beer)… so I actually avoid it. So as I was reading it, I was trying to actually make it something else that is happening that he just isn’t aware of because of the fact that he is blacking (or whiting) out! In my head I’m trying to imagine all the possible scenarios for the rest of the story… Have fun with it if you run with it! (I also like poetry!)
Ooh! Tell me he’s a lightning elemental. Great piece, and so awesomely short! Loved it.
Thank you, Crystal! Is he a lightning elemental? That’s an interesting idea. Yes, I’m being deliberately cagey–see my response to Danielle B. above. 🙂
Intriguing. That’s some serious flash.
Thanks, Far Away! 🙂
Nice! Wipe them out and walk away!
Thanks, Heather! I’m not sure Joe was planning on wiping them out and just walking away, but since no-one would believe what actually happened, I can’t think what else he would do. 🙂
I need powers like Joe’s! It would make California freeway driving so much easier 😀
LOL! Thanks for the comment, Jenn. 🙂
Wow! That’s a cool and scary power at the same time, especially if it’s out of control. Great story!
Thanks, Tyrean. It is an interesting concept, perhaps worthy of development. We shall see… 🙂
You had me at the “Not again.” Great job!
I’ll announce the finalists tomorrow. 🙂
Thanks, Cherie! You have a tough job tomorrow–there were a lot of good entries. Thanks again for running this contest. I always enjoy a challenge, and this was a good one. 🙂
Excellent entry! Few words, but very well written. 🙂
Thank you, Misha! 🙂
You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry! 😉
Seriously, this little snippet packed a powerful punch – grabbed me straightaway and left me wanting to know the rest of Joe’s story, from the very beginning. Really well done.
Some Dark Romantic
Thanks, Mina! Maybe I’ll tell that story one day. 🙂
Oooooh I love it – have you considered writing it as a full-length novel?
Thanks, Mariechen. The thought has crossed my mind. Certainly not out of the question. 🙂