Strike
Every Monday during A-to-Z Blogging Challenge month, I’m posting a letter-themed 500 word-or-fewer piece of flash fiction. This week’s is called…
STRIKE
The strike will be a complete surprise. The victim will never see it coming.
I’ve been living by those words for the last 48 hours. Walking through town with my coat collar pulled up around my neck and my bag across my shoulder, I’m hyper-alert. Old lady with a large shopping bag; goth hanging on a street corner, hands in pockets. I breathe heavily, walk quickly–but not too quickly.
A dark alley. I need a moment’s concealment to think. I thought I knew this city, but I’m blanking out on the best places for cover. I hear a rattle and my heart jumps. I turn. A cat walking on some old pipes. Relief. This is a new experience for me, and I need to stay cool. I must be aware of my surroundings, of everyone around me, but I can’t be jumping at every noise. They could be here; and they’ll most likely be hiding in shadows too.
I start walking the length of the alley. Aside from the pipes and some rain-soaked boxes, the place is deserted. The noise of traffic echoes from either side. I’m looking ahead, scoping out windows and ledges until I reach the opposite side. That’s when I see the man in the black leather jacket smoking a cigarette. He’s on the other side of the street, and as soon as I come out from the alley, he turns and walks the same way. I’ve been made. I have to move quickly.
The man’s good. He manages to look inconspicuous, though I know he’s following me. I pick up my pace a little; he does the same. I maneuver myself between people, but he’s still close on my tail. From the corner of my eye I see a taxi approach; I hail it. The driver pulls over and I get inside. The cab smells of stale orange. The driver just nods when I direct him. I watch his eyes in the rear view mirror as he pulls away. He glances back at me.
The strike will be a complete surprise.
I watch the wing mirror, but I can’t tell if black-jacket man is following. The ride only takes ten minutes, so I’ll know soon enough if he’s tailing. He must have seen me, but perhaps he couldn’t get a cab. I try to look relaxed, even try some small talk with the broody cab driver. He just grunts and nods.
We stop at the park. I pay the fare; the cabbie grunts and drives away. There aren’t many people around, which is good. I soon find the restrooms. A few minutes later, I walk out of the men’s in a park keeper’s uniform.
Moments later, black-jacket man walks past me. There’s no-one else around.
The victim will never see it coming.
I pull my revolver, attach the silencer, and pop a bullet in his head.
From the empty men’s room I make the call.
“Target eliminated.”
I loved this story, Colin. I found myself reading it really quickly because I was so desperate to know what was going to happen!
Oh cool! Thanks, Rachael. 🙂 This was a bit of an experiment in pacing and tension, and it sounds like it worked fairly well.
Whoa, didn’t see that coming. This is a great piece of writing. Nice work. Happy last full week of A-Z!
Yay! Thanks, Shell Flower. 🙂 If read any of my other flash fiction, you’ll see I have a thing for surprise endings. Of course, the danger is that the surprise is so out-of-left-field that it’s unbelievable. Hopefully with this one, you can go back and re-read, knowing how it ends, and it makes sense.
Amazing–it’s the last week already! All the best to you, too. Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
I do enjoy the little twists you have at the end of your flash fiction pieces. I always have to wonder where could this lead because everything and everyone are usually not what they seem. 🙂
Thank you, Robin. 😀 I need to write one that *doesn’t* have a twist at the end–that would be the twist! Everyone and everything is *exactly* how it seems. 😉
That was very tense. I like how you show that he’s hypervigilent.
Thanks, MPax! It’s a challenge to do that with a word limit… but perhaps that actually helped. It meant I had to edit, and short, terse sentences can help to ramp up the tension. 🙂
I enjoyed that story. I loved how you set us up for your strike too 😉
Hahaha! Thanks, Elaine. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂
That was brilliant. I love how you build up the tension and I do like a twist that I don’t see coming. Great stuff.
Thank you, Tracy! 😀
WOWA! That one really captured me. You’re so good at these!
Thank you, Samantha! 😀 Flash fiction is very restrictive, but that’s part of the challenge and the fun. This story was originally over 600 words long, and finding 100+ words to cut wasn’t easy. I don’t know that I cut all the right words, but it’s good practice.