YouTube
This is it–the last in my Monday 500-words-or-fewer flash fiction stories for the A-to-Z Blogging Challenge! This story is called…
YOUTUBE
I hear you say how nervous and excited your are. The picture wobbles as you try to capture the scene on your iPhone. A short line of people ahead of you. The steep ascent up many steps. You pan to the right. The sparse hillside with patches of green. Parts of the clear blue sky jump into view as you follow the line up the steps.
You show me the people in front. A man in his fifties with the same excited fear on his face that I hear in your voice. A teenager with pink and yellow hair who tries to look bored to her friends on either side of her, but you capture the vitality in her eyes.
Now you are only a few steps from the top. I can hear the wind against the phone; I imagine you pulling your hair from your face as you talk. Just like you did when we walked on the beach that first night. The night I told you I love you.
The picture shakes violently. Blurred images. Green, brown, blue, faces, arms, hands. Then I see you, smiling so brightly; the sunlight behind you can’t compete.
“Thank you so much for this,” you say to the phone. I pause the video. I take in your eyes. Your eyebrows. Your lips. Your cheeks. Your joy. Just a moment longer. Then I click the play button.
“This is the best birthday present ever. Ever.” You rub your eye with the heel of your hand. Like you did that night we walked on the beach. The night I told you I love you. You release the emotion in a sigh.
“I love you so much,” you say. You blow me a kiss. Then I watch as you slip the helmet on your head, and attach the harness to your slender, delicate frame. You seem so sure of yourself. You check every hook and clip, tug at the cord attached to the back. I see the palm of your hand. The picture bounces again, and I hear your voice saying “thank you,” to someone just over the noise of your hand on the phone.
The picture settles. Now you’re looking out into a valley. The view is spectacular: row upon row of dark green trees scaling the hills on either side. A thin line of water reflecting sunlight below.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” you say. I nod. “See you tomorrow, Joe. I love you.”
The screen jumps. You’re looking down. The thin line of water is getting wider. It’s dotted with rocks. I hear the wind whipping against your phone, and the adrenaline rush in your scream.
I hear a crack.
The picture spins.
Your scream is now one of fear.
Ten seconds of spinning and screaming.
The screen goes blank.
Your family will probably take the video down soon, despite one million YouTube views. But I will never forgive myself. I should have bought you the necklace.
If you read all my stories this month, do you have a favorite?
For the first time Colin I could guess what was about to happen yet I really wanted it to be a guess and not the truth. So sad and in 500 words I’m feeling the same emotions of your narrator.
I think I’d have to go for Strike. I wasn’t quite sure what was happening as I read – in a good, guessing way – and then came the really unexpected ending. I do love a bit of the unexpected. 🙂
Also, you’ve really got me interested in flash fiction during this challenge. It’s amazing what stories people can come up with in 500 words or fewer.
Thanks, Robin! I’m glad you enjoyed Strike. I wondered if people might be able to guess where this story was going… but since I usually like to have a surprise ending, the fact it wasn’t a surprise turned out to be a surprise… yes? 😉
Definitions of “flash fiction” vary, but it can be as long as 1,000 words. I picked 500 because that’s a good length for a blog article. You can write Flash Fiction with fewer than 500 words–but then you’re getting into the realms of Janet Reid Writing Competitions, which are fun to do, but I wouldn’t restrict myself to 100 words by choice! 🙂
This particular story actually showcases another cool thing about flash fiction: it’s a “low-commitment” way to explore different genres and styles. I’ve not ever written a second person story before, so this provided a way for me to try that out without having to develop a plot, build deep characters, etc.
I strongly encourage you–and all writers–to write flash fiction, even if only for yourself. If nothing else, it will help you practice editing, and perhaps learn something about how to convey a lot of story in few words.
I knew this was going to be sad–I started to cry even before I got to the end. My favorite story is a toss up between Alien and X Marks the Spot. I like Alien, because it was unexpected and because we have been there, done that (well you have). I like X…because pirates are so likeable, yet so despicable at the same time–I think of the Dread Pirate Roberts or even Jack Sparrow. I think you need to put together all your flash fiction in a book–for people who don’t like to read, or don’t have time to read long chapters. You could call it “A Flash in the Pan”, or “In a Flash”, or “Flash Lightning”, or “Flashy Not Trashy”…I do go on 🙂
lol! “Flashy Not Trashy!” 😀 And yay–I made you cry!! 😀 I know, that sounds cruel, but you understand that if you cried at this, I managed to convey the sentiment of the piece, which is a good thing. 🙂
I knew you liked Jack Sparrow and the DPR, but I didn’t know you liked pirate stories generally. I’ll have to write you one sometime. 😀
Don’t you think you got a little carried away with the smilies 🙂
What can I say? You make me smile. 😀 😀 😀 😀
:'( – how very mean you are. I think the scariest part of this in the likely truth that the YouTube video would get that many hits.
I know… it was a bit mean. But, frankly, this turned out much better than my first idea for “Y”, and it gave me the opportunity to experiment with second-person POV. 🙂
Wow. I’m speechless. Heartbreaking and sad but so very well written.
I haven’t read your others but I’m going to go and read them now!
Thank you so much, Samantha. It is a bit sad for a last story, but I really wanted to play with second-person narrative, and this scenario popped into my head and wouldn’t go away.