A Writing Tip from Church

Every Sunday, our church’s worship service includes a time of pastor-led corporate confession of sin, followed by a few moments of silence for private confession. The words to the congregational confession are usually projected for all to see, and they are also in the bulletin. We read along with the pastor, and then take a few minutes to search our own hearts before the Lord.

I have to confess that I was a little distracted this week by the phrasing chosen for the corporate confession. I won’t quote the whole thing, just the relevant lines:

We live in constant fear that we will be discovered as frauds. We even deceive ourselves. Forgive us. Jesus, your grace intrudes the mundane. It exposes and heals, humbles and makes bold….

As we read along, I, and many others, read this as “Forgive us, Jesus. Your grace…” instead of “Forgive us. Jesus, your grace…” (notice the difference?) Aside from printing the confession in a larger font, and maybe highlighting the punctuation by using bright red or lime green, how might such a misreading be prevented? I think a simple re-wording would have done the trick. Try this:

We live in constant fear that we will be discovered as frauds. We even deceive ourselves. Forgive us. Your grace, Jesus, intrudes the mundane. It exposes and heals, humbles and makes bold…

I don’t know about you, but phrased like that, my mind naturally stops at the period before “Your grace,” whereas before it wanted to say, “Forgive us, Jesus.”

This reminded me how much writers need to take care not only when choosing which words to use, but also where to place those words in a sentence. Does the current word order best communicate the author’s intended meaning, or is it likely to confuse? Does the word order promote easier, more fluid reading, so the reader isn’t stumbling over words? One way to answer these questions is to read your work aloud. If you have trouble with it, then your readers will too, no doubt.

Oh, and yes, during the private confession time, I asked forgiveness for being distracted by syntax… 🙂