That “Lessons Learned” Post…
Back on my birthday, I said I would post a “lessons learned over the past 50 years” article sometime. Well, now’s that time. Don’t worry, I’m not going to ramble on about how kids these days don’t know they’re born (they don’t), and how we Gen-Xers developed all the tech that the Millennials and Gen-Zers love (can I hear an Amen? Of course, the Boomers say the same about us…), and so on. I’ll sum up my thoughts in three points:
Content Warning: The following comes from an explicitly and unapologetically Christian worldview. If this offends you, let me know; I’ll pray for you. 🙂
Do Well the Things You Can; Don’t Sweat the Things You Can’t.
Most people are fairly competent at more than one thing, and many like to give most things a try. However, you can waste hours of your life pursuing things you think you ought to be able to do (but can’t), or have been told you ought to be able to do (despite your inability), or have some interest in but not a compelling passion. Don’t worry about them.
The sooner you can identify the things you are good at, the better. As best you can, sink your teeth into the things where you can contribute the most to your church, family, and society. If these correspond to things you love doing, all the better. Find your gifting and maximize it. This is good stewardship of your time and talents (Matthew 25:14-30).
This mortal life is important, but never forget that it’s just your three minutes in the green room before eternity.
We are blessed to have the lives we have, and to live in this world that, despite the evil and ugliness, still contains a lot of beauty and awesomeness. However, we shouldn’t be so fixated on this world that it becomes our all-consuming purpose. Eternity is a long time, and it is our final destiny when our years here are complete (Revelation 20:6, 15).
We need to use this time as preparation for eternity, first by making sure we are ready to meet the Lord (Acts 16:30-34), and then by using this time in the pursuits the Lord has set before us. These include church, family, friends, work, and all those things that shape our characters and mold us more into Christ’s image (Romans 8:29; 12:2).
But, again, our time here is so, so brief. The older we get, the faster it seems time flies. And compared to eternity, our lives are a blip. We shouldn’t squander the few years we have here, but our main investment should be in that which doesn’t perish, not in that which is here and gone like the wind (Matthew 6:19-21).
The only thing that really matters is being faithful.
It doesn’t matter if you’re popular. Everyone wants to have the likes on Twitter and Facebook. We all want to be the person invited to every event, who everyone wants to visit, and everyone wants to know. There’s nothing wrong with being liked, but it’s not what matters most.
It doesn’t matter if you’re successful. However you might define success, whether in terms of money, achievement, productivity, or relationships. All of these things can give you a sense of fulfillment, and that’s not a bad thing. But they are not what really matters.
It doesn’t matter if you’re loved. Being loved is one of the core yearnings of the human soul. Whether it’s loved by friends, family, or a significant other, we long to have people in our lives who care about us. This is indeed important, and it’s not wrong to want to be loved. But it’s not the most important thing.
All of these things are good and worthy, but they can become idols. They can lead us to self-absorption, obsession, and a whole host of unhealthy attitudes and pursuits.
What matters most is being faithful. That is, faithful to the Lord, to His Word. To live in the light of what He has revealed of His character, and what He wants for us. In other words, we should, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33).
What’s most sobering for me about reflecting on these things is that they are things I have known for most of my life. And if you’re a Christian, you know these things too. It just seems that the older I get, the more their importance presses upon me.
What are some of your big life lessons–at least so far?
Whew! The “lessons learned” are LIFE lessons? Imagine my relief! I thought this was going to be a political rant about what “we” have learned from the last 50 years.
I love your life lessons.
I like the one about being faithful because it is one that you can always go back and re-apply yourself to after a lapse, even a long lapse. I guess one life lesson that I’ve learned (in almost 50 years) is that I underestimated how much my skills, abilities, and maturity would continue to grow as I got older. This means we can accomplish a lot over time, even if we are only able to accomplish very little on a given day. So, I can give myself permission to go to bed at night, knowing that we will keep chipping away tomorrow.
Another lesson I’ve — at least begun — learning is that people are going through far more awful and stressful stuff that the casual observer can imagine, that many people are honestly doing the best they can under the circs, and that we should be hesitant to judge their bad choices as “something I would never do.”
Hey, Jennifer! Glad you liked this. Nooo, I’m not doing the political rant. I’ve been tempted to go there on Twitter and here, but I’ve refrained, largely because much of what I might say has been said and is being said by others with more credibility and with a much bigger platform. 🙂 That doesn’t mean I won’t ever address issues that *could* have political implications. My intention, though, is simply to be biblical rather than political.
Those are some good life lessons. You never stop learning and developing, this is true. I think we build a foundation for that development in the first 20-25 years of our lives, but we can always improve. As you say, even a little a day makes a difference over time.
Proverbs 14:13: “Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief.” We should never suppose that someone with a happy demeanor has never known sorrow. There’s a lot more to people than what we see, so while we may recognize a bad choice for what it is, it’s good to also recognize there might be an aching heart behind that poor decision.
Thanks for your thoughts! 🙂